Colorado Trail Day 11: 26 July 2018
/The Final Day.
I wake in the Sweetheart’s Room at The Fireside Inn. Bleached morning light is streaming in the windows. Cool morning air blows gently into the room. Another radiant day in Breckenridge. And this is my final day. That is my first waking thought. This is the day I leave Breckenridge - I leave Colorado. Instead of dwelling on that resolute reality, I shove the covers down toward my feet and climb out of the warm bed. I have to shower and then meet Julie and Ed for breakfast at 8am. They need to get an early start to successfully hike Segment 7 in its entirety today. And I need to pack up, check out and then wait for the shuttle to pick me up at 11am.
I arrive at the breakfast table before them. Two older men are already having coffee and seem engrossed in a conversation while looking at their smartphones. One of the men is wearing a black down puffy jacket. I know immediately that he is a hiker. His short white hair matches his long white beard. His face is weathered and visibly worn, tired. I sit down and introduce myself. Julie and Ed have now arrived. Soon coffee is being poured and steaming hot plates of food are being placed before us. The older hikers are hiking the Continental Divide Trail which shares the mountain path with the Colorado Trail for 234 miles including the section passing through Breckenridge. It’s fascinating hearing very experienced hikers tell their stories of years of trail adventures. We also share our recent experiences along the first 6 segments of the Colorado Trail. They listen with honest enthusiasm. There is an immediate comradery that exists as fellow hikers. We love to talk about gear, hiker food, water sources, navigation, climbs. Soon I quietly announce that I am leaving the trail due to my inability to acclimate to the altitude and the recent illness. To my relief I feel no judgement coming from the hikers sitting at the table. There is understanding followed by recent stories of hikers faced with similar challenges. I feel a fatherly warmth coming from the hiker with the white beard. He tells me that it will be okay. And in that moment, I smile with heartened belief.
After breakfast, Julie and Ed prepare to leave for their Segment 7 hike. After the hike, they will return to the Fireside Inn. So they don’t need to pack up this morning. I on the other hand, need to organize my pack and check out. We are all in the common room at the Inn. There is a flurry of activity as Julie and Ed assemble the limited gear they are taking for today’s hike – some food, water, rain gear. I stand there trying to offer assistance but in my mind I am thinking that we are about to say goodbye. I feel a deep welling up within me as I struggle to comprehend that Julie and Ed will really hike on toward Durango and I will depart for Ohio. I desperately want to change my mind, run upstairs to my room, grab my gear and with a huge smile proclaim I will hike onward! But what has been decided is final. Niki is busy cleaning up after our breakfast, and I see her watching us as she works in the kitchen. She knows what is about to happen. I can read it in her face. And then suddenly Julie is before me saying goodbye. So here it is. We hug. I tell her to be safe and enjoy the rest of the hike. And I simply cannot say anything else because a fluttering tenderness has emptied into my heart. I will not cry at this moment. I need them both to be brave and strong for their 12,500 foot summit. I see Julie’s eyes taking on a pale redness as tears began to pool around the lower edges. We shared an aspiration to hike together for 486 miles along this challenging and spectacular trail. And in a matter of minutes, I will no longer be a part of the experience.
Slowly I walk Julie and Ed to the door. And then the door closes.
I stand in the main common room of the Fireside Inn. And the room is utterly silent. I can barely even hear my own breath. My thoughts tumble down and then tumble down some more till they lie deep beneath me in stifled clumps. So this is what it feels like to be left behind and alone. Why is my skin suddenly so tight? I turn and make my way upstairs to my room to finish packing. I return downstairs with my pack and turn in my key to Niki. Then I sit on the plush brown leather sofa and wait for the shuttle with my eyes closed.
When the shuttle arrives, I put my pack in the rear and then climb into the first row of seats. There is only one other passenger on board. We make numerous stops in Breckenridge, Frisco, Silverthorne and Dillon until the shuttle is completely full. And then we make our way over the passes and then downward emerging out of the Colorado mountains, away from the pine forest fragrances, lingering white snow and breathtaking enchantment - downward toward Denver.
And now the only thing I have left from the Colorado Trail are my quickened saturated memories.
