Colorado Trail Day 8: 23 July 2018
/I wake to realize that thankfully I have slept the entire night. I also realize that I am still not acclimated to the altitude. For the third straight morning, I am experiencing a pressure headache, drone-like ringing in my ears, continued fatigue. It’s 7:30am. I know that check out is at 10am so I just lie in the bed for another hour in a foggy haze. I was so sure I would be feeling better today. The continued altitude sickness dampens my spirit. If I could stay in bed all day, I would. But I think about Lorraine picking me up and taking me to Breckenridge. And that gets me motivated. I need to secure a place to stay tonight. I review my Breckenridge lodging notes. The Fireside Inn B&B and Hostel is very close to the main street and has recommendations in both Yogi’s guide and the Colorado Trail Foundation Guide. I call the Inn hoping that a room will be available. A very cheery voice with a British accent answers. I’m in luck! They have a private room with a shared bath for tonight and then a private room with private bath for the following 2 nights. I book all 3 nights at once. I know that Julie and Ed will show up in Breckenridge in the next few days so I need to make sure I have a place to stay. While I am on the phone, a second call comes through. It’s Julie! It is so inspiring to hear her voice and finally find out where they are on the trail. After we separated, they decided to camp at the beginning of Segment 5. The next day they hitched to Jefferson from Kenosha Pass and resupplied at the Jefferson Market. They are now hiking in Segment 6 getting ready to summit Georgia Pass today. They will arrive in Breckenridge tomorrow evening! I let her know that I will be staying at the Fireside Inn. As I hang up, I remember that I was highly anticipating hiking Segment 6 - the first time the trail crosses the Continental Divide and the first time the Colorado Trail climbs above the tree line. I wanted to experience that glorious moment - to have walked from Waterton Canyon to the Continental Divide! Julie and Ed will have to fill their minds with panoramic imagery and descriptive insight and then share with me every single detail. I most likely will never hike this segment.
I get myself to the shower and let the hot water continue to prod me into movement. I dress and look at my face in the mirror. My eyes are swollen with one heavy eyelid collapsing on my eyelashes. My lips are cracked and dry. And my face seems hollow and void of color. I don’t think I have ever looked so unlike myself. What is happening to me? My pack is pretty much ready to go so I have very little to do. I wander down the stairs and make my way to the small dining room for breakfast. The Hand has a lovely breakfast waiting with bowls of mixed fruits and berries, juices, coffee, tea, assorted breads and cereals, waffles and eggs. I pour myself a cup of coffee and head to one of the available tables. Then I return to fill a small bowl with fruit and grab a small cereal. For some reason I choose Corn Puffs. It’s about as much as I can handle. I eat the cereal dry. The coffee is strong, needed and satisfying. I sit there quietly and listen to some of the local town people having breakfast, sharing their stories mixed with hearty, giddy laughter. The golden retriever makes a few appearances and then runs off to the lobby. I imagine what life must be like living in Fairplay – hot dry summers, cold snowy winters, county fairs, motorcycle conventions, drives over mountain passes to hidden cabins looking down on flowing rivers, pine tree fragrances catching the wind, hot wood fireplaces with crackling gold and blue flames. Maybe I am romanticizing the lived experience of life in Fairplay. But the small town has treated me very well.
When I get back to my room, I text Lorraine and let her know that I am ready to travel to Breckenridge if she is still willing to drive over the pass. She texts right back. She has to drop off a Subway sandwich for her daughter and then will make the 35 minute drive from Bailey to Fairplay. This whole trip may take her over an hour and a half. I feel guilt mixed with bountiful relief. Today I will arrive in Breckenridge. Tomorrow I will be reunited with Julie and Ed.
I hoist my pack on my back and walk down to the lobby where I turn in my keys and ask if I can sit in one of the large chairs facing the fireplace to wait for my ride. I am told I can stay there all day and take a nap on the couch if needed. Ah, Fairplay! As I am waiting, the golden retriever lies down on the wooden floor next to me. We wait together.
After 40 minutes, Lorraine texts me to say she’s in Fairplay looking for the hotel. I explain to her that The Hand has a huge scaffolding on the roof with large metal letters that spell HOTEL. You can’t miss it. She pulls up in a different car than the one she drove in Bailey. With her are 2 very small white dogs that wiggle and crawl all over the car with excitement. She informs me that The Hand is the place she got drunk after her divorce. I just love hearing her stories and seeing her brings a much needed smile to my face. Get in! And then we are off heading out of Fairplay, climbing toward Hoosier Pass. I stare out the window while Lorraine talks about Colorado and growing up in Bailey. The mountains are incredibly beautiful. There are small patches of snow clinging to the passes, resisting the strong urge to melt into much needed water. The sun shines over the mountains illuminating rounded sweeping peaks while keeping other ridgelines in contrasting shadows. The entire range before me is massive and opulent. As we keep going higher over the pass, Lorraine admits to me that she is afraid of heights. If there weren’t guard rails on the highway, she would not be able to make the trip. I quietly begin to hope that we begin our descent soon. And soon we reach the height of the pass and then follow the curves of the road downward toward Breckenridge. Arriving at the Fireside Inn, I say my goodbyes to Lorraine and the 2 dogs. She has saved me today. Her generosity and kindness inspire hope. I vow never to forget her.
I walk into the Fireside Inn and make my way toward the main room. The Fireside Inn is both a bed and breakfast and hostel, offering a variety of accommodations from a suite, rooms with private bathrooms, and dorm facilities with shared bathrooms. The inn is run by Niki and Andy, an older couple from the United Kingdom. They welcome me into their home. Niki looks at me with some concern. I explain that I was on the CT and had to take a few days off to recover from acute altitude sickness. She recommends I visit an Oxygen Café in town. She shows me my room for the evening called The Cabin. It’s a small narrow room on the ground floor with a wooden bunk bed , chair and wooden counter. It’s very rustic and simple. And I love it. I am shown the 2 shared bathrooms and the breakfast sign up. I can choose from scrambled eggs, pancakes or french toast with an assortment of sides – bacon, sausage, toast. Breakfast is served from 8am – 9am in the shared dining room. Niki offers to do a load of laundry for me but I explain that I just did some laundry yesterday so I am fine for the time being. When she leaves me, I lie down on the bottom bunk and close my eyes. I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. I am here. I am in Breckenridge. My sister and Ed will be here tomorrow. We will reunite.
After an hour, I decide I probably should try to make it to one of the oxygen cafes. I am still having a hard time breathing and feel a huge weight of fatigue clinging to my body. I walk out the door of the Inn and make my way down the hill toward Main Street to catch the free Main Street Trolley to take me the 7 blocks to the O2 Café.
Upon arriving at the café, I am greeted by a young woman who quickly inquires how much time I need with the oxygen and what kind of scent I would prefer. I choose Energy. We agree on 30 minutes. I sit on a black leather sofa, my eyes closed, following the instructions - breath through your nose. The oxygen is delivered by a small plastic tube with openings placed under my nostrils. I can’t immediately tell if anything is happening but I feel comforted knowing that someone is in charge and shows genuine concern. After 30 minutes I add an additional 15. When the treatment has concluded, I am told I should start feeling much better in an hour and that the supply of oxygen should last for the next 2 days.
I walk back toward the Inn suddenly incredibly hungry. I think about the first food that comes to my mind – pizza. It feels good to have an appetite again. I find a pizza parlor and order a chicken pizza with basil. It’s not the best pizza but it satisfies. Then I find a local barber and have my head buzzed and my beard trimmed.
As I make my way back to the Fireside Inn, I take in the mountains surrounding this quaint village. Every view is picturesque and lovely. It’s a kind of satisfying perfection that resonates with the sensibility of the every street corner and stately mountain home. Breckenridge demands acknowledgement of cozy ski lodges, aromatic bakeries, whiskey bars, t-shirt shops highlighting Colorado themes, clever souvenir shops, gear stores and day spas all displayed with well thought placement - clean, neat and utterly pleasant. The mood is quite different from Fairplay. Where Fairplay is old and rustic, Breckenridge is a resort for families who can afford a mountain holiday among the high ski lifts, mountain house rentals and hot tub lodges.
I arrive at the Fireside Inn. I shower in one of the communal bathrooms and then head to my room. I am feeling better! I don’t know if it’s the oxygen I was administered or if it’s because I am finally in Breckenridge and tomorrow I will see Julie and Ed. But for tonight I am finally experiencing hope for recovery. I left the trail 2 days ago. By the time Julie and Ed arrive and take a zero, I should be acclimated and ready to hike. And then it suddenly hits me. Even though I will hike again, I won’t be a thru hiker. I missed segments 5 and 6. No matter how far I hike, from this moment onward, I can no longer say I am thru hiking the Colorado Trail. I let that thought linger in my mind for a brief moment before I let any feeling or emotion take over and swirl around those ultimate words. I am not a thru hiker.
I would like to say I was strong and accepting. But in that moment I experienced a quiet devastation. I will never thru hike The Colorado Trail. I am not a thru hiker. I am not a thru hiker. And that’s all that needs to be said at this time.
