Pre Hike: 12 February 2018
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I first learned about long distance hiking from my father. He once told me that there was a foot path from Georgia to Maine called the Appalachian Trail and that one could walk through the landscapes of the Eastern United States and experience all the beauty of the forests, ravines, rivers and lakes and mountains in a continuous journey. And from that moment, I dreamed of one day experiencing the excitement of going on a great adventure. I imagined myself traversing steep climbs to reveal expansive vistas, late night camp fires and faces glowing in the turbulent flames, lying in the shelters - warm in my sleeping bag hearing the rain falling all around, and feeling the warm comradery of hiking with fellow hikers. That feeling stayed with me through the next several years. I thought of numerous reasons why it could never happen. I tried to keep those adventurous thoughts dormant and far away from my future. How could I possibly take 5-6 months off from my life in New York City and walk for over 2000 miles! What would I do with my apartment, job, career path, friends, furniture? I lived in an enormous city. I knew nothing about hiking and sleeping outdoors. I had dances to choreograph and New York seasons to plan and produce! Thru hiking was not present in any of my plans for the future. But the feeling persisted. It kept coming back to me and igniting something within me. I felt compelled to stop pushing those thoughts away. I began to read books by thru hikers to satisfy my adventurous spirit. I watched documentaries on the AT and followed hikers on their U-tube channels. I explored numerous websites devoted to the AT and read blogs by hikers that detailed the realities of thru hiking. But those investigations only increased my own desires to be on the trial and experience thru hiking for myself. I was fascinated by the immense beauty of America’s lush landscapes – the Great Smoky Mountains! Lakes! Rivers! I stood in awe at the will and fortitude of those who attempted and completed their thru hikes. I was inspired by great courage of hikers and the close bonds that develop through shared experiences on the trail. I wondered if I could be strong enough both mentally and physically or if had the determination to navigate those difficult days and not give up. I looked back at my life and thought about those moments where I decided to move on and not complete what I had set out to accomplish. But I never really thought of those moments as failures. I thought of them as part of my own personal discovery of how I wanted to spend my life and what I wanted to learn and explore to satisfy my creative mind. Each moment of discovery led to another exciting and powerful set of experiences in my life that altered my direction and continued to challenge me. Could hiking be one of those great moments that would forever be woven into the fabric of my life - this spectacular tapestry of textures, colors, patterns that eventually become my own personal history? I felt compelled to find out and so I continued my research and decided to not stop the flow of my dreams. As if I really could. I am a free spirit. I have always moved on as needed and given myself permission to try the things that excite me. That inner voice usually wins out in the end. I simply cannot ignore the aching presence of need and desire.
What constitutes a life lived – is it what we do for a career and how much money we make or where we live? Is it defined by who we love or don’t love? Or is it also cherished experiences that bring sweet happiness and fulfillment and hopefully memories that will sustain and carry across the vast years of the future? Maybe it’s all. And maybe I want more moments in my life that will carry me forward.
So I persisted in my quest for adventure.
And then one day I discovered the Pacific Crest Trail. And then I decided that I might want to instead hike that trail from Mexico to Canada. And then one day I decided that I would do it.
And now here I am 3 months away from my start date. And everything is going to change.
